Reality Cruising Adventure
Tired of the same old hum-drum vacations to the tropics? Lounging on the beaches of five-star resorts not turning your crank anymore? Let Mike and Rebecca Sweeney of Zero To Cruising give you a real-world cruisers adventure that you’ll remember forever!
Just look at the fun weekend of experiences we have in store for ZTC guests:
Saturday morning: UNDERWATER ADVENTURE!
Bored with snorkeling over fish-infested reefs? Get your underwater fix the way real cruisers do — by scrubbing the bottom of a boat. And the catamaran Zero To Cruising has not just one hull for you to ‘cut your teeth’ on but two, so you’ll get hours of fun in the warm Caribbean waters! View the amazing sea life that can grow on a hull lacking sufficient anti-fouling paint. Everything from bright red sea moss to crusty little barnacles are waiting for you in this nautical playground. All equipment supplied.
Saturday afternoon: SPLISH AND SPLASH!
Remember the fun you had in childhood water fights? That and more is waiting in our deck-scrubbing adventure! Slip and slide across soap-covered decks as the warm sun beats down upon you. Splash your friends as you move about the boat. Experience the joy that comes from revealing the gleaming white decks that are temporarily masked by salt and grime. You bring the bathing suit and we supply the rest.
Sunday morning: LET IT SHINE!
Ever experienced the pain and embarrassment that comes with a lopsided suntan, acquired by lying motionless on a beach chair? That won’t happen on ZTC, especially with our afternoon stainless-polishing competition. As you go head-to-head with your fellow polishers to make each piece of steel on the boat sparkle, you’ll be moving from station to station, bending and twisting, exposing the various parts of your body to the sun’s warming rays. At the end the day, you’ll not only have the satisfaction that comes from a challenging day of battling against your friends, you’ll have a full-body tan that can’t be matched by those hiding under umbrellas on the beach in the distance.
Sunday afternoon: PIRATE TREASURE HUNT!
What about a shore excursion? Don’t fret… we’ve got that planned for you too, and it just may be the highlight of the weekend! But don’t think we’re going to let you wander aimlessly from shop to shop like a typical tourist. Far from it. We’ve got a real treasure hunt organized for you, where the prizes that you’ll be hunting for are two of most valuable cruiser commodities: water and fuel! With a dinghy full of brightly-colored jerry cans, you’ll head for distant shores in search of the “gold.” Mislabeled maps and out-of-date guide books will add to the excitement. When you finally locate your “booty,” you’ll get to pretend you’re real pirates as you ferry it back to the ship. More fun than you can imagine is waiting for you on this special outing, only available from ZTC!
Now for the bad news: availability for this ultra-exclusive weekend vacation experience is extremely limited. So, to guarantee your spot, you must send a non-refundable $1000.00 US deposit (50% of the total booking fee) to Zero To Cruising. Give us a weekend and we’ll give you a cruising experience like no other. Guaranteed!
After an exciting day of living the cruising lifestyle, we’re definitely not going to leave you high and dry. No Way! This amazing adventure includes a generous portion of the beverage of your choice, either warm domestic beer or boat wine, both of which are considered a delicacy by cruisers everywhere!
In case you haven’t figured it out, this is a joke. Sorry. Please don’t really send us $1000.00, unless you really want to. No, that was a joke too.